Thursday, February 28, 2008

To my mother, myself, and other survivors of domestic and sexual violence...

This list is dedicated to my mother, myself, and other survivors of domestic and sexual violence. The number of items, 39, represents the number of years my mother has survived an abusive marriage with my father. The list is a work in progress:

1) People are turned on by what you say and not by what you wear.
2) Your lovers respect you out of love and admiration.
3) When looking for work, building friendships, or making love, there is equal balance in power on all sides.
4) When you speak, your accent always enhances the profundity of your words.
5) At all learning institutions, teachers and instructors are aware of your presence and the learning needs of others like yourself.
6) Others do not see you as up for game as you walk to the corner store and any man that comes to close proximity is not a threat.
7) If you feel that the fire has burnt out, your lover will not manipulate you into staying.
8) Your body is unscarred and holds memories of only love.
9) Your heart is unscarred and unafraid to love.
10) You control who has access to your body.
11) Your lovers remind you that they are blown away by your keen insight and intelligence.
12) Male leaders in your community are genuine, consistent, and acknowledge your skills as necessary assets to your community.
13) The female leaders in your community are plentiful and draw from their experiences as women; they are a reflection of you.
14) Financial difficulties have never been a factor in deciding whether to bear children or not.
15) You feel alive, healthy, and strong in your body, all the time, everywhere.
16) What, how, and where you worship has never incited fear or violence.
17) All human touch you experience from others will come out of love.
18) You are calm, comfortable, sociable, and happy around others you don’t know.
19) No one will try to isolate you from the people you love.
20) You know where you came from, what your name is, and where you want to go.
21) You have memories of your father guiding and loving you with words of encouragement, inspiration, wisdom, and love.
22) Your cultural practices are valued by those different than you.
23) There is no dominant culture; the only thing dominant is diversity and love.
24) Nobody takes you for granted.
25) Your children are safe wherever they are, whomever they are with, and whatever they are doing.
26) Any country you choose to travel to acknowledges the strength, value, and inner-beauty of all women.
27) You can acquire clothing and other goods without wondering if other women and children were abused in the process of its creation.
28) When you speak, others listen.
29) Every opportunity for intellectual, physical, and spiritual growth is available to you just when you need it.
30) When others use your name in conversation, you are assured that they refer to your greatness and talent.
31) When you dream, you smile in your sleep.
32) When I smell your scent in a piece of garment, I am reminded of memories of you as always happy, free, and loved.
33) Your children admire your strength.
34) There is always time to pursue what your heart desires.
35) You know what your heart desires.
36) Your stories are considered anecdotes for wisdom.
37) You consume food without guilt.
38) Every tear your have shed has been out of joy.
39) Every moment you spend alone is done with self-love and out of choice.


bint alshamsa said...

Tigera, this is an amazing list. My mother and I are both surivors of sexual and domestic violence. This list...I don't even know what to say about it exactly. I think about how what I saw her go through for all those years affects the relationship we have today.

I think it's really important to give voice to our intentions/wishes on a regular basis. I'm going to use this with my daughter during some guided meditation. She has her yearly standardized testing this week and she needs all of the good things that the universe has to offer her life.

aoc gold said...

Old Black Joe


Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay;

Gone are my friends from the cotton fields away;

Gone from the earth to a better land I know,

I hear their gentle voices calling, "Old Black Joe!"

(Refrain:) I'm coming, I'm coming, for my head is bending low;

I hear their gentle voices calling,

"Old Black Joe!"


Why do I weep when my heart should feel no pain?

Why do I sigh that my friends come not again?

Grieving for forms now departed long ago,

I hear their gentle voices calling,

"Old Black Joe!"


Where are thee hearts once so happy and so free?

The children so dear that I held upon my knee?

Gone to the shore where my soul has longed to go,

I hear their gentle voices calling,

"Old Black Joe!"

~~~by buy maple story mesos